of bliss and tags

I wonder, what good is it to spend life in such a state of “ignorance”….

However, the state of bliss that I currently am in is rather delicious! To bed, and back again in a few hours is all that is there to speak of in my life now… though the sandwich remains incomplete without the appropriate fillings.

Boredom hangs around my shoulders—heavy... and rather comforting (comfortable perhaps). It will take time to get used to life without a job, or any of my usual adrenalin pumping activities. But I sure do vouch for the fact that life is much greener on this side! Aquamarine, shab, olive, prune, ivy… the different shades of green crowd my much dried up palette, hasn’t been used in some time… I wonder, when exactly I lost the threads to the colours that they now lie in a dust heap…

Time does help heal—realize. Strange, it seems to realize for the first time in the past three years that the dimple in Varun’s chin is rather visible; or that his eyes are the perfect shade of puppy dog brown! But then again, it wasn’t until recently that I had realized that I preferred butterscotch to chocolate ice cream! Or that catching raindrops on my tongue is fun… “funner” than a lot of psychedelic pleasures…

I love the world! Its brand new… and squeaky clean! I love myself—narcissistic bitch that I always have been!! I love life… trips you and sure does get you dirty, but it sure does know the right places to tickle!!




Aaaand I guess, I’ll just fair to Aditya to play along… and go ahead with the tag!!


I’m thinking about: whole lotta things…but all are colour coordinated and kept in their
respective pigeon-holes!


I said: if I’ve ever been bad with you (any of you), you in all probability deserved every
bit of it!


I want to: make an immense deal of money and spend it all effortlessly!


I wish: for a genie to grant me ALL the wishes that ever escape my lips!


I miss: friends


I hear: chaos


I wonder: Why pain?
Why poverty?
Why suffering?
Why me?


I regret: absolutely nothing that I’ve ever done!
A lot of things others have…


I am: “tongue tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit”


I dance: when drunk…


I sing: all the time and not necessarily in tune!


I cry: when sad, when happy, when hurt, when angry… pretty often!


I’m not always: myself… willing to help or patient.


I write: good enough. Period.


I confuse: fairy tales and reality…


I need: patience… acceptability and love will automatically follow.


I should try: studying… really!!!


I finish: all the ice cream in the fridge… without failing to infuriate my parents-- always!

poetry?

listless, profoundly amusing,
changes, in the regular lane of life..
open, to the mirth, of disillusion...

occasionally flying..
wandering...
about them...who care?
recklessly seeking refuge in boredom.
impotent confusion...

wonder if you can feel..
pains that burn through
unreal nights of existence....
devouring slumber.

cancerous delight plagues-
the throng of vision..
clouds, contorting pleasure,
unmasking emotions
-of innocence and fragility
of an oblivious soul,
lost in the realms beyond......

mistakes

MISTAKES...the eight lettered identity of our eternally spotless, unrelenting mind.....

once committed, it is rather difficult to retrace the steps responsibly counted by our very weary existence..what exactly does "to err human and to forgive divine..." mean???!!the catchline for the new breed of self-proclaimed martyrs, out there, to keep us all from sinking deeper in the flimsy filth??

i have indeed committed,but am yet to forgive...or forget..this, in all probability is due to the unnecessary independent existence of my conscience, as a separate entity, endowed with powers to breathe, live and more importantly think...torn away from my pithy existence, i have indeed lost whatever little bit of mind that remained imprisoned within me...

flying high on rooftops, (none much higher than the 5th floor though...) it is the realization of a new high...new feelings-emotions that i never knew existed!!

yet...it is the time to copulate with pain....to awake to reality, to smell the mustiness of the lanes locked up in weary corners of the imaginative mind...they rather feebly offer smelling salts to the fast asleeep practical monter within me...makin me realize.....futility...

park stret is the realm of "sins"...the hub of mistakes...the furnace of desire and pain...where demons revel under the divin psychedellic lights of attraction....

i try to retrace...my thoughts, my words, my action...i stumble...i fall...

into the fiery pits of damnation...and i enjoy...every moment of it!!

nonsense, sensibly

tweedledee and tweedledum
sitting innocently on their bum(s)
are the looking real glum?
"oh no! just chewing gum!!"

how very obvious it is to realize that i am, as usual, loitering around the neverending corridors of cyberspace...aimlessly, pointlessly and rather mindlessly...with the lightning speed connections and easy access to the interne, minds have become rather.....

do we actually need one when all the information we need...(both correct and incorrect) is just a click away?how many times have you felt foolish by being unhesitatingly proved wrong by the realms of cyber knowledge?
how many times have u had the irresistible urge to burn anything offering information (but not looking remotely like a computer?) realizing that the "object actually dares to offer you information that contradicts info found on the holy cyber trail??!!

nonsense.....thats what this post really is....when there is too much of time on hand and no constructive thing to do...an affair with the keyboard seems brilliant!!!how fast fair fingers glide over its spine...how smooothly it can be carressed when mindlessly one thinks of sense...and more foten...nonsense...and the clicking responses to the caresses do not exactly remind you of a mundane lover bored with the daily routine of love making.....how good it is to find solace in imagination.....



drown....in the psychdellic swirls of misty untruths....
seek solace...
peace...

and then, there was blogus

the very existence of blogus does seem incredibly weary...cooped up in a 6X4 cubicle all day, staring intently and relentlessly at my thinking, blinking companion. reading stories off the "urban legends" website does seem rather mundane now...to welcome change and celebrate novelty, i unhesitatingly registered and am typing what can be classified as my very first blog on blogspot...

more staring, more blinking and more "exciting new offers" pop up on my screen...never ceasing to add little snippets of excitement in my routine grey life..few strained patches of "californication" filter through the (heavy with boredom) air and reach my cubicle. no-one else seems to have noticed...all all, no-one else is working, hallucinating, trying-to-work, giving up hope...like me.

female foeticide, death of croc hunter, yamini something or the other...wisps of smoke, rhythmic drumming sounds from the nearby "pandal" being constructed, polyphonic ringtones, humourless laughter, return to reality.....................................................................................................


stories from "urban legends seems to be the only salvation....and blogus, remains suspended, incomplete.....like the rest of my work piled up on the table.