a-z

so, i read the realm of luminosity, and am prey to yet another blog. sitting at home, battling sheer boredom, it did seem rather natural that i do this...
and then i decided to write, of random things, from a to z



a:
is for alan parsons, audio engineer for the likes of sir paul mccartney and pink floyd , who later gave the world brilliant sounds as he gave life to the alan parsons project
also for animals: one of my very favourite floyd albums



b
is for byomkesh bakshi, my favouritest detective of all time!
also for bula di. so
don't be silly, cover your willy
don't be a prick, cover your dick
and i could go on...



c
is for cartman, eric cartman, absolute sweetheart! if you don't agree then, "screw you guys, i'm goin home!"
also for cats, chocolate, cigarettes, condoms and chillum. all necessary evils that i have lost my heart to.



d
is for dollops of chocolate sauce on ice cream. sinful...aah!
also for dumbfucks: successfully summarizes most of the world and people we know!



e
is for
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. "...you stop listening to what is true, and what is true is constantly changing." teaches lovers a lot. and for me, brings back memories, good, bad and even ugly.



f
is for fuck
implement it in any way you like,
verbally or otherwise! :D
also for fairy tales. i still adore. and believe that they do come true!



g
is for god. i try believeing in.
gore, as portrayed in saw I, saw II, sawII and sawIV (very enjoyable. all must try)
and godot, those tired of waiting, i don't blame!


h
is for hump.
camels have humps!
what were you thinking about!? pervert.
also for hitman. agent 47. sexy bald man, in black suit, with a white shirt and red tie. toting guns and killing with ease. the game is nothing short of addictive and the movie sucked!



i
is for i, shounak! nothing, i repeat nothing else can take this slot!



j
is for joker, enemy of batman. played by heath ledger, in the dark knight returns. who now, very unfortunately is no more (and it makes me wonder whether or not i have necrophiliac tendencies!)
also for juno. really sweet movie, touched me, in the right way.



k
is for
kissies. they can be loud, soft, wet, slurpy, intended, unintended, welcome, unwelcome... you get them in all flavours!



l
is for
lazy, lazing around, laziness, feeling lazy, lyaad khaoa... aren't we all fond of it?



m
is for mangal singh,
for those who appreciate good reefers, they shall know from where to score! my smart input: the best in kolkata and friendly too!



n
is for narcissism
me, the epitome.



o
is for obelix. no words to express how much i love this rotund gaul and his lill tree lovinh dog! sighhhh!
also for orkut, the larger than life networking site with plenty of people who wanna make and do friendship.



p
is for porn.
everybody watches it. accept it or not, no-one will turn off the comp screen when given a chance to watch! and arguements about this, i shall not accept!



q
is for quack quack!
ducks have feelings too!
and quentin tarantino. the man who gave to the world pulp fiction, reservoir dogs, kill bill, kill bill II.


r
is for roger waters
THE man. brilliant lyricist. brilliant bassist. brilliantly sexy now that he's old!




s
is for south park. nowhere else will you find such ridiculous fun being made of celebrities! they haven't felt the slightest remorse in calling paris hilton a "stupid spoilt whore", claiming that hilary clinton's vagina hasn't been in use for the past 30 years, showing how facially deconstructed michael jackson is or even openly proclaiming how talentless ben affleck is! plus there are your regular spoofs, on 300, the da vinci code, red hawk down... you have to see it to believe its brilliance!
s is also for superman, my favourite superhero!
also for star wars, i worship george lucas for such a creation!



t
is for trainspotting. i shall restrain myself from going into lengthy details! apart from the fact that its one of my favourite movies!



u
is for
ummmmmmmm........



v
is for varun!!!
what better could i have come up with!? most disgusting creature i have ever come across and the most imperfect man i could fall so hopelessly in love with!



w
is for weed: connecting people in a "joint" effort!
also for wankers
there are so many all over! how can you miss them!?



x
is for xylophone! even alphabet books don't know any new words with x till now! :P
and x-men, the cool mutants, as opposed to magneto's team, the bad ass mutants!



y
is for yo! the most wannabe expression the world could come up with!



z
is for zoo.
last visited january 17, 2008. brought back lots of great memories and both varun n i escaped successfully without being locked up!


i tag everyone who lays eyes on this post!
there is no escape!

gora

i first saw him when i was four years old. as the story goes, i was running around in front of the garage, chasing the ducks and chickens our caretaker, shakeela, prided herself in having... after a fall and a bleeding knee, gora was beckoned by a very harassed shanti di to quieten my wails. and that was the beginning of the story.

i don't suppose he was much bigger than me, his large eyes looking at me curiously, his his shriveled up nose, the ridiculously colourful shirt all convinced me to love him... with all my heart and soul, and of course, his flees! he was the most beautiful monkey i had ever set my eyes on, and since that afternoon, gora, much to the annoyance of the very spoilt cat we had, became a regular visitor at the biswas home, bringing with himself bits of twigs, little stones and once even a marble as he came came, very punctually and made himself busy entertaining me. so

enthralled was i by his charms that i wasted no time in bullying my parents into buying him and his mate rakhi more gaudy clothes. and truthfully, so fond was i of that monkey that the presence of an older and unfriendly rakhi did not please me. but, i "tolerated" her none the less, playing with them to the point of torture where i would make gora sit in my doll's house and drink out of the tiny cups. and of course, spilling was not allowed!
then, one fine day, school happened. suddenly flung into a whole new world with rugrats like me,

i was captivated. so enthusiastic i was about school and my friends who would sing, dance and talk with me that gora faded to some dank dark corner of my mind. gradually, his visits were welcome only on bored afternoons, during summer, when the mind of a five year old had nothing to occupy her and then, with promotions and the development of newer interests and hobbies, the visits stopped.

sometimes, as i would walk with my father towards the park circus maidan, i would notice biju bhaiyya (gora's owner) sitting outside his little shack, smoking a bidi, then maybe, i would remember gora and stop by to pet him, but then maybe i wouldn't.

my fascination with gora returned a few years ago. upon returning from mumbai, one very hot
afternoon, biju bhaiiya stopped by to converse with my grandmother, and much to my surprise, gora was missing! though i feared the worst, gora was very much alive, but not very well. some kids from the mullick bazaar basti had stoned him down, "just for fun". thus almost 14 years after our torrid friendship, i realized my soft spot for gora and between college and work, i always managed to squeeze time out to call for biju bhaiiya and enquire about gora, if need be, even pay for medicines he needed as he lay in bed, ailing.

if i was to believe biju bhaiiya, gora had just crossed his 15th year on the face of the earth, and was living past a monkey's average lifespan! to spare myself the arguements, i accepted gora, now a wizened lill thing, still dressed brightly, for all he was worth and the fleas.
i never had courage enough to adopt him and make him a proper part of the family, like i never had courage to deal with the fact that gora, during his last few years was suffering form acute diabetes, couldn't deal with the fact that much of the life that was in him was gradually draining out as he slowly lost control of his bladder...

perhaps, biju bhaiiya realised the trauma i was facing each day as they both stopped by to show me prescriptions and chit chat for a while. perhaps, he hoped to find a better cure for gora, perhaps, he just wanted to go home... whatever the reason might be, one day, biju bhaiiya announced that he was leaving for bihar with gora.apparantly, he had land issues to deal with. and that was the end of the story...

yesterday, as i was wasting time in the afternoon, trying to prevent myself from dying out of boredom, a familiar call for audience froze me. hobbling out to the balcony as fast as i could with a broken foot, i was yet aging greeted with biju bhaiyya's bearded grin.
"kya memsaab, khela dekhbe na?" he asked in heavily accented bangla, and i felt my heart break into a million pieces as he pointed to two tiny monkeys on his shouders, dressed identically in gaudy colouring and i knew i would never see gora again...

coffee, anyone?

Been ages since I last allowed my fingers to fly unabashedly over the keyboard without worrying much about its outcome without worrying much about grades or a professor’s sarcastic comments or even writer’s block… its been ages since I let go of myself, felt uninhibited and enjoyed a moment without delving deep into the mechanics behind the veneer that lit up my face n the form of a smile. Letting go of logic, renouncing worldly acceptance and unchained by hazy paraphernalia, I realize the importance of dreaming… once again. At the risk of sounding horribly clichéd, I repeat, like many other lost souls of the world, “where did I lose track?” and strangely, I don’t need to know the answer.

It’s the beginning of a whole new year (okay fine, a few months into it…) … new heartbreaks, new misunderstandings, new ego clashes, new bouts of depression… wonder why I didn’t bother myself with a set of resolutions this year… Perhaps, it is a sign of my “new found” maturity. A sense of uneasy impulse that urged me to quit my extremely unsatisfying job, that urged me to forget to play by the book and acknowledge the man I love, that urged me to realize that there is little to life beyond happiness… How on earth can one realize the beauty of pain (and the overrated songs) if one feels little beyond it? How can one recognize the importance of hatred, hurt and deceit if the mind is clouded by it, without allowing much more to creep in? How can one live a dreary existence regularly trying to convince oneself more than others how “fucked up” they are or how much pain plagues their heart and mind all the time?!

My advice to these unfortunate souls remain singularly rude… “Wake up and smell the coffee! There really ain’t anybody out there who care enough to be influenced by all the negative karma you are exuding! It’s time you realized that you actually aren’t fucked up. Think of little Afghans living in cities that turn into war playfields everyday. Think of Ethiopian mothers who live each day to see their children grow up to be embraced by darkness, more importantly, think of America… they have Bush for a leader… and yet, you think you’re fucked up!

Closer home, think of that little kid who runs up to you every time your cab’s stuck in a jam. Think of the poor wounded dog lying untended to on the road, think of Tollywood… years into senility and there have been no signs from Prosenjit that indicate retirement! And yet, you think you are fucked up!!

In the mirror, see yourself getting wasted every day of the week, (who cares for weekends, happy hours, parties, anyway?!) Unlimited sex, drugs and rock and roll! See yourself act the teenage rebel, even though you are an ungainly twenty something! See your ideas, ideologies and brains gather dust as you tell the world, “I’m takin’ it slow, if it has to happen, I’m ready, if it doesn’t happen, I won’t be hurt!”… And see yourself hurt others, over and over and over again… the way you have been hurt… and you still think you have been fucked over and are fucked up!!

Indeed, you are… so fucked up that you don’t realize that to most problems there are solutions, be it tampons or remotes or headphones or free sms!! You are so fucked up that you should face a fate similar to Himesh, a flaming, speeding cannonball… and if you still think the world is unjust and nothing can redeem you from your ‘pain, suffering, trauma and confusion’… then hell, neither you, nor your problems are worth a dime. Walk around the street and look about, you will realize how irrelevant and unreal they actually are!”

I rest my case! Sleep tight and dream sweet!

the past, the present and the times to come...

Life Ten years ago:
unruly, included breaking windows, climbing trees, throwing tantrums about everything and nothing, climbing out of school windows to escape class (and i fondly remember amrita biswas, my partner in crime)...
life was brilliant, i didn't know what stress was, didn't know what it felt like to be cheated, lonely, depressed, doped...
friends were innumerable, each of us ignorant about the ideas of back stabbing, bitching, hating and making lives miserable. were devoid of any pretensions, ego hassles, lies...et all
though i don't remember much, i know it was way better then...




Life Five years ago.
was playing basketball... had suffer a heartbreak and was unwilling to trust anyone. spent time immersed in books, reading, writing, trying to be some1 different... don't think that worked out much.
came across a small bunch of very firm friends...still love most of them now... for all that they have done for me, for all the times they have been patient and all the times they have cared!!
i completely erased the entire concept of homework form my mind and made my friends do it for me.
wrote for the ttis (the blessed telegraph is schools that is), proved myself to be brilliant tabloid reporter, played hard and felt blessed with life, inclusive of bulemia and all!



Life Tomorrow.
hope that my broken foot heals soon, will gorge on the remaining bit of ice-cream in the fridge, flip lifelessly through a coupla books.
watch a few movies, spend hours stare listlessy at the computer screen.... very mundane...




Five locations I would love to run away to.
1. delhi-straight into varun's arms
2. some beautiful moonlit beach
3. neverland
4. a galaxy far far away (for the sake of star wars)
5. dellhi again....



Five bad habits I have.
1. trustin ppl way too much
2. weed
3. biting my nails
4. switching off during conversations that don't matter to me\
no more i can think of...



Five things I will never wear.
1. fur (i completely agree with sohini on this one)
2. my hair with a fringe
3. kurtis and skirts
4. mehendi on my back (yuck)
5. fake gold jewellery



Five biggest joys at this moment.
1. i'm talkin to varun
2. i'm at home getting to order EVERYONE around thanks to my broken foot
3. i'm getting to spend A LOT of time reading...all that i want to!
4. everybody believes in my tarot reading abilities! (everybody who has been brave enough to trust me with the cards that is!)
5. very good weed... very, very good weed!



Something to achieve by next year.
go on a trip with varun somewhere, start learning a new language, learn how ro play my guitar, cut down on, if not quit smoking... quite a few things actually!





Something that impacted me last year.
uh.... did something?


What will I miss about 2007.
nothing at all! it wasn't a brilliant year for me!




Five things I want to do before I die.
1.launch my own magazine
2. backpack all over india filming a funny documentary
3. build an animal shelter
4. learn to cook real exotic dishes and cook varun a 7 course exotic meal
5. watch roger waters perform live



I tag anyone who is as useless as I am right now!!!