shoi

shoi left. for pune. technically, she is still in town, perhaps, at howrah station, waiting for the train to budge and journey towards maharashtra, but, she still is far, from the peach walls, the reddish floors, the blue loo and the friendly banter.

i never thought i would miss her such a lot. not already at least.
its crazy, the way, every little conversation seems to be coming back to me... from class 6 onwards, when we sat next to each other for the first time... she was the pen eating cat... and me the book-eater.. childish wiles thes, and yet, i long to go back, and sit in the very last row, which comprised of those four rickety chairs and desks and giggle while some lame ass teacher taught n class.

its strange... growing up with some-one and then one fin day seeing her one last time before she boards the train for some godforsakencity!

i am not insecure... never for a moment do i feel that she will never call me up or ignore my calls, for i know, wherever we are, we shall be in touch... she had herself told me so while leaving school... and i trust those words. more than a lot of things, people and incidents.






i love shoi. it's slightly late for the realization. i love her. in a strictly non-lesbian way. i love her for all that she has confided in me, for all the wonderful times she has shared with me, for all the times she was there, rock steady and dominating, fishing me out of trouble and even threatening me with dire consequences in order to keep me safe. i love her, for helping me, through thick and thin, sticking by, even when i have been displaying my most difficult behaviour. for years and years, even at her most irritating best, she has been that happy spot in my life which has never let me down.

and finally, i love her, for all the times she has satiated my insatiable appetite when stoned. and i love her, for making me feel like a nice person, even when i have been a really mean pig!

i shall be lonely, tremendously, when i shall b sitting alone in my room, on a random summer afternoon, smoking up. for it was only a few months back that she sat there, with me and smoked and laughed. i shall be lonely when i go to salt lake, for it has been there, that i have spent a great part of the past three years, in and out of loos, in a varying states of stoned delirium, paranoia, hysteria and starvation!

i shall miss her, while making random plans with friends and colleagues. and i shall miss her every time i take a puff of the spliff...

i am selfish, incredibly, and keep hoping that by some stroke of miracle, she comes back... and stays here for good.

i know, such is not about to happen... for the next two years at least... till then, i shall see her ever so seldom, once in every four months and then bug her on various networking sites, till she comes back for yet another vacation.

thus, till november/december/whenever she comes back... she will be much missed.