coffee, anyone?

Been ages since I last allowed my fingers to fly unabashedly over the keyboard without worrying much about its outcome without worrying much about grades or a professor’s sarcastic comments or even writer’s block… its been ages since I let go of myself, felt uninhibited and enjoyed a moment without delving deep into the mechanics behind the veneer that lit up my face n the form of a smile. Letting go of logic, renouncing worldly acceptance and unchained by hazy paraphernalia, I realize the importance of dreaming… once again. At the risk of sounding horribly clichéd, I repeat, like many other lost souls of the world, “where did I lose track?” and strangely, I don’t need to know the answer.

It’s the beginning of a whole new year (okay fine, a few months into it…) … new heartbreaks, new misunderstandings, new ego clashes, new bouts of depression… wonder why I didn’t bother myself with a set of resolutions this year… Perhaps, it is a sign of my “new found” maturity. A sense of uneasy impulse that urged me to quit my extremely unsatisfying job, that urged me to forget to play by the book and acknowledge the man I love, that urged me to realize that there is little to life beyond happiness… How on earth can one realize the beauty of pain (and the overrated songs) if one feels little beyond it? How can one recognize the importance of hatred, hurt and deceit if the mind is clouded by it, without allowing much more to creep in? How can one live a dreary existence regularly trying to convince oneself more than others how “fucked up” they are or how much pain plagues their heart and mind all the time?!

My advice to these unfortunate souls remain singularly rude… “Wake up and smell the coffee! There really ain’t anybody out there who care enough to be influenced by all the negative karma you are exuding! It’s time you realized that you actually aren’t fucked up. Think of little Afghans living in cities that turn into war playfields everyday. Think of Ethiopian mothers who live each day to see their children grow up to be embraced by darkness, more importantly, think of America… they have Bush for a leader… and yet, you think you’re fucked up!

Closer home, think of that little kid who runs up to you every time your cab’s stuck in a jam. Think of the poor wounded dog lying untended to on the road, think of Tollywood… years into senility and there have been no signs from Prosenjit that indicate retirement! And yet, you think you are fucked up!!

In the mirror, see yourself getting wasted every day of the week, (who cares for weekends, happy hours, parties, anyway?!) Unlimited sex, drugs and rock and roll! See yourself act the teenage rebel, even though you are an ungainly twenty something! See your ideas, ideologies and brains gather dust as you tell the world, “I’m takin’ it slow, if it has to happen, I’m ready, if it doesn’t happen, I won’t be hurt!”… And see yourself hurt others, over and over and over again… the way you have been hurt… and you still think you have been fucked over and are fucked up!!

Indeed, you are… so fucked up that you don’t realize that to most problems there are solutions, be it tampons or remotes or headphones or free sms!! You are so fucked up that you should face a fate similar to Himesh, a flaming, speeding cannonball… and if you still think the world is unjust and nothing can redeem you from your ‘pain, suffering, trauma and confusion’… then hell, neither you, nor your problems are worth a dime. Walk around the street and look about, you will realize how irrelevant and unreal they actually are!”

I rest my case! Sleep tight and dream sweet!